Husband guest post

This whole NaBloPoMo stuff is tough. I'm running out of things to blog about every day so I've asked the hubs to take a turn. This picture pretty much sums up the face when he accepted. Grit you teeth and smile. Oh and don't mind the cat stickers he has on his shirt. Those were from an (almost) 2 year old. Here's what he had to say...


I’ve been “asked” to write a guest post on Nikki’s blog, so for those of you who enjoy funny, well written posts, thanks for coming, stop reading here wait for tomorrow.  Here is my perspective on compromise in marriage.  I’m about to get myself in trouble… I don’t care, I’m trying to watch TV.  Really I’m not going to reveal some great secret that you haven’t heard 100 times, I’m just going to reinforce the concept with my personal experience.  Compromise consists of my wife asking me to do something, me saying I don’t think I’d like that, then being told I have to do it.  You might say, “Brandon, you’re a grown ass man, you don’t have to do it” to which I respond, "wrong"!  I am indeed a grown ass man, who is growing a beard, but only because I asked her if it was ok first.

Dr. Sheldon Cooper of The Big Bang Theory says that women’s eardrums have evolved with a sensitivity to higher pitched sounds so they wake up when a baby cries.  Well I think women have honed the same skill to whine at a pitch that requires men to do what they want. That, or we just don’t want to deal with bitchy women. Kidding.  I’ll add that my wife must be preoccupied listening for baby (kitty) cries because she completely ignores everything I say and I have a great deal of important things to say most of the time.  I apologize for wasting everyone’s time with this post, in particular mine if I wrote all this and it never makes it to the blog.  Despite my objections to doing this, I wasn’t really given a choice since my wife “ASKED” me so nicely until my ears hurt.  Plus I don’t really feel like camping on the couch tonight J

One last thing to add, while writing this, Nikki brought me a cookie which meant she truly appreciated me trying to do this for her.  After taking my first bite I looked up, she pointed at the blanket I had on my lap and smiled.  SON OF A BITCH, now I’m cold!

My take on the AMA's

I wasn't sure if I really wanted to watch the AMA's or not. Then I remembered that I have to write a blog post for today, so boom goes the dynamite and here we go.

Usher - Holy cow, dude can still dance. Ya know, in case you forgot.

Carly Rae Jepsen - I thought she was lip syncing, but maybe not. I still love Call Me Maybe. Her performance was ok, but I was paying more attention to one of her back up dancers, Ryan Ramirez. She was on So You Think You Can Dance. Yes, Ryan is a woman.

Kelly Clarkson - I love me some Kelly. But stop yelling at the audience to "come on". Also, I could do without her hair-do. But she really is one of my favorites. With a voice like that, she can do whatever she wants.   

Ke$ha - Freak. But I sorta like her. Sometimes. But she cannot dance. Oh and get off the floor. Ok so maybe I don't like her. I clearly can't decide.

No Doubt - As strange as Gwen Stephani is, I've always liked No Doubt. But I didn't know the song she sang so I was so not interested. She should have broken out a little Spiderwebs or Just A Girl for old times' sake.

Taylor Swift - Her new CD is actually very good. Her outfit change in the middle of the song was neat. Kudos for that. She picked a good song to perform.

Linkin Park - The last song I remember of theirs was One Step Closer from 12 years ago.

Nicki Minaj - There is nothing I like about her. That is all.

P!NK - She is one of my favorites. Probably tied for favorite, favorite with Sara Bareilles. I like that she did the same performance from her video. It amazes me how fit she is even after having her baby. She could make a CD every week and I still wouldn't be tired of her.

Justin Bieber - Ok first, I do not care for him. However, I love that he went with an acoustic version of his song at the beginning. Then he grabbed his crotch 1,400 times and jumped around a bit  for the second part and I remembered why I thought he was a tool. Then Nicki Minaj came out. The combination of the two made me throw up in my mouth a little.

Christina Aguilera - I'm not even sure what to say about that performance. Bizarre doesn't seem to sum it up. I like what she's trying to say, but... nah, I've got nothin'.

Pitbull - Not my thing.  

Carrie Underwood - Is there a prettier woman out there? I mean seriously. But I feel like she couldn't keep up with the song or something. It wasn't her best.  

Chris Brown, Ludacris & whoever the other cat was - Yuck. Really, people enjoy that?

There ya have it. What have we learned? I am apparently very critical. And old. I guess I'm just not into what's "new" these days. I'm a little irritated that I wasted 3 hours watching and stayed up way past my bed time. Yep, old for sure.

My Most Embarrassing Moment

It was supposed to be a typical trip to Meijer for groceries, but this time, I had to pee. I'd never used the restroom at Meijer before and after this traumatic episode, I never will again. Ever. I go in and there's another person occupying the handicap stall. I didn't think anything of it and I headed into the only other stall, next to her. I do what I went in there for but just as I was about to open the stall door to leave, I hear the lady say "no! no no please no" and look down to see water close to my feet! She had apparently clogged the toilet so when she flushed, it overflowed. I got the hell outta there without saying a word. I figured it would embarrass her more if I stuck around to... help? Gross, no, there will be no helping. So sorry. No, I did not wash my hands for fear of getting toilet water on my shoes, or worse. But I did have hand sanitizer in my purse. That would have to do.

So why was this MY most embarrassing moment instead of this poor woman? Well, because when I came practically running out of the bathroom, there was a gentleman standing there waiting to go in to clean it. The poor guy didn't know what he was in for. And that poor woman was about to be mortified. I was embarrassed for all parties involved! What if she told the guy that if was me who clogged the toilet?! I didn't know if she clogged it by using too much toilet paper or something else way more embarrassing. Can you imagine poop on the floor?! OH MY GOD! This is humiliating. Although, honestly, if I were in her shoes, I would absolutely blame it on the stranger who just ran out the door before me. Wouldn't you? It would be better than saying "oh, hello male Meijer employee. Yes, this is my poop on the floor that I'm about to leave you to clean up". Hell-to-the-no! 

I caught up with my husband in the produce section and told him what happened. He laughed and said "do we need to leave? Was it really you who clogged it?". Thanks, babe. Geez.

What's your most embarassing moment?

DIY T-Shirt Scarves

I decided to actually make something I pinned on Pinterest. Crazy concept, huh? I went with the two different t-shirt scarves pictured above. How hard could they be, right? So months ago I set out for Goodwill for a couple old XL t-shirts. I came home with four and started on the first scarf. I was excited and feelin' crafty when I followed this easy tutorial. She claims to have only taken about 15 minutes, but I spent about an hour. I'm sure of it. Perhaps she cuts circles faster than me. Or maybe it was because I kept stopping to examine her pictures and say "wait, is this right?" over and over again. Leave it to me to make the simplest directions seem like an IKEA instruction manual with too many diagrams and not enough numbered parts. Somehow I made it through and came up with this as my finished product:

 

It's not terrible, right? I didn't add the flower because I thought it was fine without and I was tired of playing Martha Stewart for the night. No wonder people pin things and never actually make them. It takes skills. Skills that I lack, apparently. Oh wait, no, that's patience. Patience is what I lack. I threw the other three t-shirts in the closet for a rainy day. Fast forward about 6 months to present day. That darn Pinterest got me again. I was tricked into thinking I could make another t-shirt scarf. So I pulled up this tutorial. It didn't have step by step picture instructions, but seemed easy enough. So here's what you do... Dig out another t-shirt from the closet. Bonus points if it's covered in cat hair. Apparently my cats have been laying on them when I'm not looking. Anyway, snip snip and here's what I came up with:

 

 

Again, not too shabby for a rookie DIYer. But again, she claims to have only taken 10 minutes and I absolutely took over an hour. Woe is me. So there you have it. Two t-shirt scarves down, and two fully intact XL t-shirts still in the closet acting as cat beds. What else can I do with them? Is there something great you've pinned made of t-shirts? Do tell. I would love to hear it, even especially if it's not a scarf.

 

Elegant Elliephant

 

My friend, Ellie is crazy talented. She has a shop on Etsy here and also sells her stuff at Celebrate Local at the Easton Town Center mall in Columbus. She makes beautiful coasters and magnets. You should really own some. (The bottom of this post can make that even easier) This is my set:

I wanted to mix things up so I chose random paper with similar colors. Your set can be more matchy-matchy if you'd like, don't worry. Here are some more examples:

She designed these Ohio coasters

Custom order made from a runner's bib

For a local photographer's shop



The finished product, drying

 

In case you need a little Harry Potter in your life

 

Stone magnets



Glass magnets

More stone magnets

 

The possibilities are endless! She does custom orders so you can put whatever your little heart desires on a coaster or magnet. Contact her for more details of how to go about doing such a thing. She's very helpful and easy to talk to, don't be scared.

 

Here's her corner of the Celebrate Local store in the mall

You can also find her at art festivals showing off the goods

 

But here's the best part of this entire post... you can now take 10% off by using "SilverBells" on your Etsy order!! Offer ends December 1st! There may even be a special code on her shop page on Black Friday *wink wink*   

 

 

If you love her as much as I do, you can find her on Facebook, Etsy, Pinterest, Twitter @elegantelliephant or shoot her an email at elegantelliephant@gmail.com. Now start Christmas shopping for everyone on your list!

 

 

Great American Smokeout

Today's the day, people. Put that cigarette out for good. It's the American Cancer Society's 37th Great American Smokeout. Last year I wrote this about lung cancer. I'm not going to repeat myself. Instead, I'm going to say do whatever you want. But I wish what you wanted to do was quit. It's up to you.

I'm through with begging. When I was little, all I wanted for Christmas was for my parents to stop smoking. They never did. It killed my mom. My dad still smokes. But I'm not mad anymore. Ok, maybe a little mad. But I've come to realize he doesn't smoke to upset me. In fact, it's not about me at all. Smoking is an addiction. It's a stress reliever. A crutch in some cases. I don't yell at my dad every time he lights a cigarette anymore. There is no point. He has been smoking for roughly 45 years now. If my mom dieing from lung cancer didn't make him stop, me saying "please" one more time won't either.

I have friends who smoke. They know what I've been through but they keep lighting up. Am I mad at them? No. They know the risks so I'm through begging. Do I want to see them around for their kids one day? Of course. Will I be angry if they get lung cancer? Probably. But we also know that not everyone who smokes gets it and not everyone who gets it, smokes. Like my uncle who I miss every day, just like my mom. He passed away just 25 days ago from lung cancer. It's hard to lose a family member to cancer, especially a parent. I know it, my sister knows it & now unfortunately, my 3 cousins know it.

Smoking doesn't just hurt you. It hurts your family. So quit or don't. I just wish you wanted to try.

Window Shopping

We set out for the mall yesterday to find things for our Christmas lists. I was told we were "not buying anything, just looking" I don't know how many times. Yea, I get it, leave my wallet at home, blah blah blah. Part of me likes to shop alone because I'm very indecisive so I take a long time to pick things out. The other part of me knows that my husband has excellent taste so I like him to spot the good stuff while I'm debating over the blue or green sweater. Or maybe purple. See what I mean? The first store we went into was Macy's. Let me just start by saying, I'm not a huge fan of shopping and I hate the way department stores are laid out these days. Why does each designer have to have their own section? Heaven forbid you mix Michael Kors with Calvin Klein. I want to see all the sweaters in the entire store in the same place. I could care less who's name is on the tag. I'm sure some of you are shocked and would never agree but that's ok with me.

I was looking for nice clothes to wear to work. Brandon pointed out a light brown pant suit that was actually pretty. However, with my pale skin I would look like a walking band-aid. Strike one. We rounded the corner to find a work appropriate, little black dress. At first glance I said "it's ok" but was convinced to try it on just for kicks. As soon as I zipped it up, I felt 5 years older. In a good way. It was perfect. The very simple design looked boring on the hanger, but very flattering on me. Wow, conceded much? But seriously, I never find things that fit like this. I'm tiny so shopping in the women's department has always been a nightmare. Even the "extra small" shirts are never small enough. I know, what a terrible problem to have, right? But it really is. The clothes in the juniors section fit me, but I'm not into dress clothes that look more like clubwear. On occasion, I do find clothes that fit from the women's department but only after I've talked my husband into stripping the mannequin like a creeper while I wait in the dressing room. God love 'em. Hey, it's not my fault they put the "smalls" on display. He almost always throws a cardigan over her so she's not naked at least. Semi-naked is acceptable.
 
Anyway, we walked away from the dress since we weren't there to buy but I snapped a picture of the tag to add to my list. After several more stores we came across these skinny belts for only $3-$5 each and thought "these would look nice with that dress". We broke our "just looking" rule and left with four of them. Then my husband realized that means we would have to get the dress. Oh darn. He picked it out and obsessed over it the whole day so I sort of knew it would end up in our car before the end of the day without me having to say a word. Isn't it normally the other way around with the husband trying to talk the wife OUT of buying something? I like this way much better.
 
All told, I found about five or six things to put on my Christmas list so it was a successful trip. Technically I'm not allowed to wear the dress until after Christmas, but I doubt it will get wrapped and put under the tree. Oh and when did clothes become so expensive?! I found a brown cardigan that I loved... until I saw the price tag. $80, I kid you not. Do people really spend that much money on clothes now? I guess I'm just cheap. I will say that it definitely seemed like it would hold up for a long time, unlike the thin $20 ones at Target that get holes in them, but still. So what's on your Christmas list?

Peaches visit Buckeyes

I love when my family from Georgia come to visit. Technically, my cousin's family lives in North Carolina now, but I still lump her in with the "GA" group since that's where they're from. We try to see each other as much as possible but it gets harder and harder the older we get. Remember the days when you were a kid and your whole family would go on week long vacations to see family? I miss those days. Things were simple. Now it's quick trips back and forth before everyone has to get back to work. We went down to Georgia in September, but I think we were only gone 3 or 4 days, including traveling. Now this time, the fam is up here but only for 2 or 3 days. It's never long enough, but that's life.

The clan rolled in on Friday so after work, Brandon and I headed out to dinner with everyone. We stayed out at my Dad's house until Monday morning, so it was a lot of not sleeping in my own bed, time. Saturday was pretty much a Thanksgiving since everyone was in town. But sub turkey and dressing for shredded chicken sandwiches and pizza. Same thing, right? When this group of 13 of us get together, you never know where the conversations will go. I think we talked about everything from politics (briefly) to Todd Rundgran concerts and embarrassing your kids. Oh and watched a lot of football. I mean a lot, a lot. Georgia won (go dawgs!) but Notre Dame also won (boo).

On Sunday, Brandon and I took my Dad to see Bill Engvall at The Midland. It was fantastic. Even Dad, who wasn't really sure if he wanted to go, laughed through the whole thing. Even snorted a time or two. Then almost fell down the steps when it was over, nearly giving me a heart attack. He said "missed that step" like it was no big deal. Ugh. Monday morning, bright and early we met the gang for breakfast before everyone headed home. It was good to see everyone. Now it's back to the normal routine.

 

Happy Birthday D squared

Two of my favorite people share a birthday. Oh and they happen to be mother and daughter.

Donna and Danielle are like family to me. I mean look at them! How can you not love these two?! Danielle has been my best friend for nearly 13 years. (I think, is that right?) Donna, a second mother. I've been through it all and they've stood by my side. When Danielle and I ran cross country together, Donna was there cheering us on in the cold. At 7am. On a Saturday. When Danielle has a Halloween party, Donna's right there dressed up with us. Danielle has been there for me through all my highs and lows. And there have been some extremely tough lows. Somehow, she keeps me together. We have a "non-mushy" friendship and it's perfect. She gets me. We don't hug because we both like our personal space. We use sarcasm in most, if not all of our conversations. Ok, definitely all of them.

But enough talk, let's get to the embarassing photos...



Parents at one of those cross country races



Halloween

Homecoming (2000 maybe)



Pep Rally

Oh the things you take pictures of in high school...



Prom 2003

Freezing at a cross country race

High school



Danielle's graduation party 2003



Graduation 2003

There's that husband of hers

Couple years ago

My wedding 2008

Danielle's wedding 2009

Her adorable daughter, Leah (who's way bigger now)

The Color Run 2012

Happy Birthday D squared!
PS - I wish I shared a birthday with Ryan Gosling.

 

Our fur babies

It's now been 6 years since bringing our kitties into our home. Well, technically we lived in our apartment at the time but you get the point. I've always been a cat person. Brandon, not so much. I grew up with cats and never had a dog. Brandon was the exact opposite. We had only been dating for a little over a year when we got them. One week later, I left both of them home with Brandon while I went on a three week trip to Africa. He had never been around cats and didn't really know what to do. Oops.   

Brandon's black & white cat, Santa was abandoned by his mama in the woods and found my Dad's cabin. He fell down into the window well and couldn't climb out so he meowed until my Dad noticed. Then he hung around on the porch pestering Dad's cats. When it was clear that he wasn't going anywhere and no mama cat came to claim him, I got a phone call to "come get this thing" because he "couldn't keep another cat". When we got to the house, Brandon played with him and decided we would take him home. But not before stealing a dead mouse from him and throwing it into the woods. Which made our great hunter sad. Or pissed, I'm not sure which. He was hardly bigger than a Beanie Baby. These days, Santa is both mellow and high maintenance at the same time. He meows louder than babies cry, and for no apparent reason. Yet, he wants to be everyone's friend and hang out. You can find him watching water drip down our glass shower door or in a cave of blankets on the couch. He's our alarm clock on the weekends and our companion while watching TV. I think Brandon likes him better than me.     

Scuttle is my calico cat. We got her 1 week after Santa from my cousin's farm. She was one of the many strays running around out there and they had been calling her Pumpkin because of her orange patches of fur. She, too was tiny but finally ready to be adopted. We brought her, and those very sharp claws of hers home in a cardboard box. When we introduced her to Santa she hissed at him. She wouldn't let him get near the food if she was eating and would spin-kick him without warning. They clearly did not get along at first. Brandon didn't know if they were playing or killing one another. By the time I got back from Africa, they were best friends and Brandon had bonded with them. We should have named Scuttle, Moxie instead. She rules the roost around here. She'll run and hide when people come over and she doesn't like babies at all. You can find her laying in the sun or on my lap. She loves car rides. We'll even take her out of the carrier and let her look out the window like a dog. She's afraid of Brandon's feet. Perhaps she was stepped on when she lived in the barn years ago. She doesn't meow. She'll open her mouth, but only a tiny squeak comes out, if anything. Sometimes I like her more than Brandon. 

So happy adoption month, kiddos. Our little family wouldn't be the same without you.

Wildlights

I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet, but next weekend the Columbus Zoo will flip the switch. I love going to see their Christmas lights! Last year they had over 3 million to turn on. Can you imagine how long that would take to put up? They get started early, but still. It's always a treat to go to Wildlights, even if you freeze to death. They normally have fires going in barrels throughout the zoo so you can stop for a moment and warm up your paws. Or do what I do and take the best invention since gloves: Hand warmers. I don't know how I ever went anywhere in the winter without these.   

 

When hand warmers just aren't cuttin' it, you must buy hot chocolate. Be warned that they do not give you a lid, though. Apparently people were careless and lids and straws were ending up in the animal habitats so they got rid of them all. This makes drinking and walking virtually impossible without spilling hot liquid on yourself. I always have to pull off the the side away from kids who like to bump into people until I drink enough of the scolding coco. This takes time because I'm not a big fan of burning my tongue or the roof of my mouth. I would almost rather just hold onto the hot cup until it's almost cold, then chug it down so I can free my hands and send them back to their warm caves known as my pockets where the hand warmers live. Yea, that sounds about right. But enough of that.

 

    

The zoo has lots of things to see and do this holiday season. Click here for a full list of activities. I think they always do a nice job. I've never done the kiddy stuff because I don't have any kids. Maybe this year I'll snatch my niece and go see Mr & Mrs Claus. I think it's adorable that the website says "Please note that the Claus Family has requested time off after December 23 and will not be available". I think I'll take the train ride around the zoo for $1 this year. That might be a fun way to see more lights too. I take a camera every year but always forget my tripod so the pictures turn out less than magnificent. But I never take my hands out of my pockets long enough to take any pictures anyway.

 

So if you're in the Columbus area, you should really go to the zoo to see the lights. I normally like to wait until at least after Thanksgiving, but that's just me. Oh and if you're still freezing after hot chocolate and hand warmers, pop on into the reptile building. It's always warm in there, I promise. 

 

Post Secret

If you've never heard of Post Secret, you really need to check it out. It's a place to share secrets with people all over the world. They mail them in and every Sunday the creator of the site, Frank Warren chooses some to post. WARNING: Not all secrets are positive. Some are disgusting, perverted, sexual, scary, horrible, tragic etc. Read with caution and never with your kids until you've screened it. If you're easily offended, it's probably not for you because it has any and every opinion out there.

 

I like the postcard shown above because it's a "good" one. According to the site, there are millions of people who read Post Secret every week so to think this may have sparked something in another person is pretty cool. And as a matter of fact, after it was posted, someone sent this one:

 

 

I have all four hardback books that have been published full of even more secrets that never made it to the website. Go to the library and find them. You may be interested enough to read them cover to cover in one sitting. Sending in a secret is on my 30 before 30 list, but coming up with one is hard. For now, I'll just read everyone elses. Here are some more totally random secrets that I like:

 

 

 

Click here for more info on sending a secret to Frank!

 

13345 Copper Ridge Road,
Germantown, MD 20874