It's Ok Thursday

 It's Ok... That I haven't brushed my teeth yet today. I'm working from home, who cares. I'll do it after lunch. That I make packing lists for vacations and even include things like vitamins. That I'd rather plan said vacation instead of doing work today. That my sister-in-law tells her almost 2 year old that Nurti-Grain bars are cookies. Yum! That I've been eating yogurt 2 days past it's experation date. Wait, is that gross? Oh well. That I plan to go back "home" (as in where I grew up) every weekend this summer to swim in my dad's pool. Hello, it's free, people. Plus, I love it out there in the woods. That I get all excited about things until I realize they cost money then I get all sad that I'm not rich. That I rent books from the library and never open them until I get that friendly reminder email telling me they're due back soon, at which time, I try to read it really fast. That I have zero gardening skills, but still bought flowers from the little neighbor kid. That I'm trying to make my husband watch YouTube videos of how to french braid hair so when we go hiking/camping, he can put his skills to work on my hair. That I wait for the mail to come every day like a child even if it's only ads and bills. Will someone send me a friggin' postcard, please. Thank you. That my Dad has texted me ONCE in my life, yet just bought at smartphone. Trying to teach him all the things you can do on it was mucho frustrating! Poor old geezer. That when my husband, dad and I went to get Josie's Frozen Yogurt, I put brownies, M&M's, chocolate chips and cookie dough on my chocolate frozen yogurt. And I'd do it again. Mmm. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What are you saying "it's ok" to today?  

It's Ok Thursday!

 It's Ok... 

That I'm donating my old prom dresses to Fairy Goodmothers knowing that they may be too outdated for high schooler's taste these days. Ya never know & it's better than keeping them in the crawl space forever.

That my husband only wears t-shirts with fish or palm trees on them. Ugh, this will become an entire post of it's own soon.

That we made yet another trip to the vet today. We thought Mo's stitches were coming out but they're not. Phew, false alarm.

That we spontaneously bought a 15 year old car this week because it's gets 40+ mpg's & we could. It's a piece. And we love it. Welcome to the family, Cricket. (Yes, we name our cars. You should too.)

That I haven't looked at the National Geographic photo of the day for at least a month now. I friggin' love that site though.

That my husband got angry because he couldn't find the parking pass for work, but I told him it was hanging on the rear view mirror, right where it always is. After disagreeing and hanging up on me, he called back a few minutes later to apologize. Yep, right there on the mirror. Where it always is.

That I don't have many things to put on my "it's ok" list today. My mind is somewhere else.

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What are you saying "it's ok" to today?

Free ain't always easy!

So you got tickets to tonight’s game and you find out it’s free t-shirt give-away night! You cannot contain your excitement; it’s your lucky day. You wonder what color it will be and what the design is going to look like. You better leave the house extra early to get downtown and parked in enough time to be one of the first 10,000 people through the gate to receive said freebie. There’s nothing worse than watching them run out right before your eyes. If only you hadn’t been so polite when you stopped the car for those people trying to cross the street, who, by the way, will get their t-shirts in plenty of time. Bastards.

Let’s pretend you make it on time. You can almost touch the fresh thin cotton. Your ticket is scanned, purse is searched and body patted down (if you’re at a Bengals game). The friendly volunteer with a huge smile on her face finally hands you the prize. An XL t-shirt. Dammit. I wear a women's small, sometimes medium. This will never work. You look at your husband and say “does your dad want another t-shirt?” as he laughs at you. My father-in-law gets all the goods that I’ll never wear. Lucky guy.

I understand, really I do. It makes sense to hand out a shirt that will fit the masses. A grown man doesn’t want to hear that they ran out of XL’s and is offered a size small. This simply won’t do. But ca’mon, the ladies need something to wear too. Our husbands don’t want us spending $30 on a t-shirt in the store there in the arena/stadium but yet they’re the ones who get one for free. If they handed out size smalls and he wanted to feel included, I would let him buy a t-shirt… if it was on sale. Maybe.

The best place that I have gotten small t-shirts on freebie night is at the Columbus Clippers baseball games. Now they know how to do it right. They even hand out mediums and larges sometimes. None of this XL only garbage. And yes, I still wear my free t-shirts to the games. And yes, I’ve also bought a Clippers t-shirt there in the store. Off the clearance rack. I mean really, $30 for a t-shirt? Be real.

Oh and by the way, yes, I do snag the free t-shirts even if I'm not at a home game. I have an Andrew McChuchen (Pittsburgh Pirates) shirt on now. And it's a small. Winning!

The dreaded month of May

6 years ago today, my mom passed away. Instead of moping around, crying like I usually do on this day, I’ve decided that this May 1^st is going to be different.

Last night I went to my very first "support group". It was called Motherless Daughters so everyone in there had lost their mom's. It was very interesting and I'm actually glad I went. Most of the people there last night had lost their mom's more recently, which I thought would be the case but they said it helps to see someone else, 6 years later still grieving because they saw that it was ok to not "get over it" as fast as others think they should. There were about 25 of us. I was the youngest, but there were others in their early 30's all the way up to a 60+ woman.

The class was 2 hours long so the first hour was 2 counselors talking about how people grieve and the anger and the guilt and the feelings of never getting to say goodbye and regrets and everything else in between. Then the second hour we sat in a big circle and everyone who wanted to talk, could. One woman jumped right in and told everyone how her mom had a stroke, then the next woman said her mom went in for some minor surgery and never woke up and another woman said her mom was diabetic... every story was different but at the same time SO similar in the way that the women there last night felt about it afterwards.

I even spoke up about 6 times, which shocked the hell out of me! Haha I was thinking "Who are you?! You were suppose to sit quietly and just listen and soak it all up, now you're contributing?!" haha But had I not spoken up, I think I would have regretted it. We all cried through the whole thing, but it was almost like we had a bond or an understanding so it didn't matter. One lady started crying the minute she walked in the door and wrote her name on the nametag. She had just lost her mother last month.

When it ended at 9:00, 4 of us stayed there and talked until 10pm! One lady was 30 years old and her mom had just died and the other 2 were sisters in their 50's so it was interesting to hear their feelings and how they get through it. The 30 year old has a 20 year old sister so she said it was good to hear my side because I was 20 when mom died. She said she can use my story & experience to help her sister now, so I thought that was cool.

I was really dreading going to this thing. I had signed up for it about a month ago and thought I didn't really need it, but WOW, it opened my eyes. They said there was a study done between people who had physical injuries and people who were grieving a close family member and at the end they came to the conclusion that a grieving person is the equivalent of someone in ICU. That sounded crazy, but makes sense to me at the same time. I should have gone to something like this 6 years ago, but I didn't know it was even available until now. At the same time, there's no way anyone could have talked me into going any sooner than now when I finally felt ready. I came home totally emotionally drained with a huge headache but a MUCH better understanding of what I've been going through.

If you have lost a loved one and are thinking about going to a support group or counselor, GO! Trust me. It took me 6 years to realize I needed it. Don’t wait that long. If you've lost your mother, you know that Mother's Day is right around the corner. Don't dwell. Don't get angry that other people have their mother's to celebrate with. It will be hard but there are other people out there who know what you're going through. Find them. Talk. I promise you'll feel better.